My breakthrough...

So as you know I am pregnant, 26 weeks to be exact. In addition, and more importantly I am a Christian. I am not just a Sunday Christian, I try to follow God everyday, every moment. But those who choose this life, have many battles along the way. I wont bore you with the grewsome details but I have an accountability to God first and then to my fellow Christians. So I am writing this to provide clarification and share my testimony. I have always believed in waiting for marriage to have sex, that has always been a important value in my faith. However 10 years ago I gave myself away to a young man in a foolish attempt to recriprocate love. Ever since, I have struggled with abstaining from preamrital sex. I have beat myself up over the years, gotten angry, and fallen. When my father died in 2003 my world crashed down and I felt a huge void in my life that took until recently to fix. During this time I allowed myself to find sex as a way to heal my pain. I had seasons where I went for several months without falling and then I'd mess up. ( I sound like an alcholic lol). But this has been a very strong spiritual fight for many years. Then last year I got sick and tired of the battle and I joined a extended class at my church that focused on being sexually pure, at the end of the class you had the option to take a public vow of purity. I wore my purity ring for over a year and when I met my soon to be husband, I never mentioned the vow to him. Since I prayed and knew he was the man God sent to me I didnt hold back. We engaged in premarital sex and I got pregnant. We always discussed marriage so it did not seem too bad. But in the back of my mind I knew better. When we found out I was with child, we celebrated and told everyone. I have had joy since the day I found out. I never have or will regret my child, she is my biggest blessing yet. Even though I never thought I'd have a child out of wedlock, I am super grateful for her. Along the way, after sitting in a few church services crying to myself it dawned on me that yes, my child is a blessing but my lifestyle does not match up with my morals or God's word. So I talked to my boyfriend and we decided to stop having sex and focus on prepraing for a complete Godly marriage. That is where we are at now and WOW life has been so amazing. Since we cut out sex, our relationship with God and each other has blossomed and I am so grateful. For the first time in my life, I am free from the ties of sexual sin. And that is why I can celebrate the gift of life growing inside of me. Some of you may not understand why I felt the need to share this and trust me it is NOT easy but my love for God and desire to please him outweighs fear of judgment from others. We all struggle with something, privately or publicly. I hope this motivates you to give yourself completely unto God. There is no greater feeling. And for the mothers who have children outside of marriage please understand, the sex was the sin, the baby was a true blessing from God so never regret your child. Somehow God always manages to cleanup our mess and love us even more. If you have any questions or comments for me feel free to inbox me or comment below. I am truly a open book, its all truth over here lol! Love you all :-)